So, I play board games sometimes. I also read a fair number of SA "Let's Play"s, so I have delusions that people will want to read about my own board games adventures. Therefore, prepare yourself for a thrilling tale of betrayal and politics aboard the Galactica, the last, best hope for humanity against the vile Cylons*.
The Game
Battlestar Galatica (BSG) is a co-operative/competitive board game in the vein of Shadows Over Camelot. To be more specific, the players take on the roles of major members of the Galactica, the only military ship to survive a cylon sneak attack on Caprica, the human homeworld. The goal of the players is, ostensibly, to survive through challenge after challenge, and reach the new world of Kobol. This is complicated by the fact that one or more of the players might potentially be Cylon (robot) agents, planted aboard the Galatica to sabotage and destroy her. At the start of the game, everyone is dealt a secret loyalty card, which determines if they are a human or a cylon. At the halfway point, an additional loyalty card is dealt to each player, allowing for sudden changes of loyalty (though only in one direction, once you're a cylon, you stay a cylon, while human players can suddenly find themselves playing for the other team)
In order to win, the human players have to travel through 8 distance of jumps, and then make 1 more jump. Each jump covers a distance between 1 and 3 units, determined by the destination, which is secretly selected by the admiral. In order to jump, the fleet has to become ready, which takes time. Specifically, at the end of each player's turn**, the players face a crisis (the nature of these crises will be discussed below). Some crises also advance the "jump track," which represents fleet readiness. The players can choose to jump early, but that will run the risk of losing some of the civilian population.
Crises are, in general, resource sucks. They either just flat out consume resources (skill cards, or major resources), or require a "skill check," which involves players secretly putting in some number of skill cards***. Skill cards which match the skills required by a check are good. Skill cards which don't match are bad. In general, a failed skill check is worse than not attempting, but a successful skill check can do all sorts of nice things****.
On the other hand, the cylon players win if:
1) The humans run out of any of the resources: Food, Fuel, Population, or Morale
2) The humans are boarded by a cylon raiding party which reaches the bridge
3) The Galatica is destroyed by cylon attacks.
Furthermore, the identities of the cylons are not known at the start of the game. This means that they contribute to skill checks and make decisions normally, allowing for a great deal of mayhem to be wrought, especially if the cylons are in positions of power (the president or the admiral). Once the cylons reveal, their abilities to cause harm are sharply reduced, but, they're still more effective than if they were stuck in the brig (people in the brig are basically non-contributing, for good or for ill). This means that it's in the best interests of the Cylons to cause problems, without tipping their hand overmuch, as getting brigged or revealed makes them much less effective.
In short, it's a hidden traitor game, which allows for all sorts of fun interplayer interactions and accusations of cylon-hood. With the prereqs out of the way, it's time to talk about our players:
V: V is one of the regular set of boardgamers, and a huge fan of the BSG board game. You would think that this would mean that he is
1) good at strategy, from the regular boardgaming and
2) good at keeping a hidden agenda, from the BSG boardgaming
neither of these is the case. He is good, however, at getting brigged, and then complaining. This is because V. seems incapable of NOT acting like a cylon. He loves to roll the dice for the attacking cylon ships, and cheer when they destroy our civilian ships. He also likes to be admiral, and then make very poor jump decisions^.
V took the role of Saul, the alcoholic Vice-Admiral, who, for this game, began as the Admiral.
HanBing (HB, or Ice): HB is another regular, and is a generally solid player. She is, however, super quiet, and likes to keep her metaphorical cards close to her chest. This means it's hard to tell what, exactly, she's up to. She also has a tendency to horde resources for a rainy day.
HB took the role of Laura Roslin, la Presidente
Ryan: Ryan rounds out the regular quartet^*. He's an excellent boardgamer, which a sharp strategic mind and good bluffing skills. His mission in life, however, is to be as irreverent as possible. This means anything involving Ryan involves a lot of edgy humor. This makes games a lot more interesting to play, as well as making it difficult to figure out what exactly he's up to.
Ryan took on the role of Boomer, the Raptor Pilot.
Me: You know me, more or less. I'm bad at bluffing, but reasonably good at strategy. I also am physically unable to not give advice to other people on their turn. This makes me the world's shittiest cylon.
I took on the role of Chief Tyrol, the lead engineer and all-around useless sack of shit. This is because I hate taking a leading role and prefer to sprinkle magic helpful fairy-dust for others, rather than taking care of my own shit^**.
THE ACTUAL G_DDAMNED GAME^***
After the loyalty cards were dealt, the standard questioning began, giving nothing helpful, as none of the cylons had a sudden fit of conscience and offered to turn themselves in. With this minor disappointment out of the way, the game was afoot!
Sadly, (or happily, depending on the side you're rooting for), the first two jumps went almost without a hitch. This was, in my opinion, largely due to the fact that Ryan and HB were sitting one after the other, such that Ryan could set up the crisis for HB, and she could pick 1 of 2, allowing for a lot of the really awful stuff to be skipped. The only real problems were a couple of cylon attacks which Ryan cleaned up relatively quickly. All in all, things were looking largely positive for the crew of the Galactica. Then came the dark time.
Admiral V. had us jumping into a cylon ambush^**** to make it past the halfway point. This prompts as flurry of accusations as the second round of loyal cards were dealt, and almost immediately, things began to go wrong- almost as if there was a traitor (or two) in our midst. The sudden turn towards disaster halts, when a rare opportunity presents itself: a crisis, which, if passed, gives 1 more distance towards the shining lights of Kobol. It was a very close thing, but, after an investigative committee and my invocation my 1/game power, we barely passed.
The joy was short lived, as wave after wave of cylons began to descend upon the ship. After extensive argument, Admiral V. was persuaded to use one of the remaining nukes to shut down one of the attacking basestars, but with level of argument required gave credence to Ryan's campaign of accusations against V. To ensure peace, I suggest a compromise: HB will play a card that gives the admiral's ability to chose destination to one of the other players (Ryan or me), instead of just brigging V. and taking the admiralty away from him outright.
HB, however, is unsure which of Ryan or I to trust, and, so, decides to delay the hand-off until the next action. During this time, V. asks some questions about how his 1/game (give the presidency to the admiral) works, to which I respond by "it sends you immediately to the brig." V. proceeds to use it, uttering half of the titular quote^^. With that, the admiralty (but not the presidency, sadly) is handed off to Ryan, who jumps us 2 more distance, for a total of 8, meaning that the next jump wins the game for the humans.
Sadly, Dame Fortune decided that constant success was not in the cards (literally) for the humans, giving a cylon attack crisis, followed by Ryan revealing himself by sending me to sickbay. With the cylons now free to ravage the civilian ships, V. decides to tip his hand by spiking a crisis, and using his presidential authority to free himself from jail, presumably to cause as much havoc as possible before we strip him of his title and send him back to the brig. With supplies running low, one cylon in control of the presidency and free, and the other cylon leading the robot fleet, HB decides to use her 1/game to draw a bunch of quorum cards (giving her access to some of the presidential powers, even though she wasn't the president). Thankfully, one of the drawn cards is an arrest order, sending V. back to the brig.
All this might be in vain, however, as the cylons annihilate the last of the civilians ships, and begin to turn their attention to the Galatica. Ryan decides to add insult to injury, arranging for another crisis to befall the remaining humans. Sadly, his hubris betrays him, as both of his options for crisis have a jump marker- the last one needed for preparations to finish- and HB jumps the fleet to victory.
Human Victory
Postgame
Not too much commentary here, other than that Ryan's two options for the last jump were both 2 distance, which was a huge setback for the forces of no-good. One of the things that did come up, which is sad, but true, is that in most cases, the outcome of a game of BSG is knowable fairly far in advance, as if the humans have enough resources, they can afford to fail the vast majority of crises, and it's hard for the Cylons to target a specific weakness in the human players, which would allow them to assault a strongly fortified human side. This topic, the problem of snowballing in games, has actually been bothering me for a little while. I think I'll try to get a post up soonish to talk about it.
*or, alternately, the last thing standing in the way of a safe, sane, clean, robot future.
**with certain limited exceptions
*** in addition to two random cards, adding a large element of chance
****In some cases
^The Dilithium Planet is only a good choice if you're desperately low on fuel
^* With myself, of course
^** Also, he's chubs, so I get to be all self-loathing and size-ist
^*** Holy Shit, do I ever shut up about useless crap?
^**** This is not quite as damning as it first appears, as the Cylon Ambush is worth a lot of distance. On the other hand, it's not the best of destinations, either
^^ The other half being provided by the other at the table
The Game
Battlestar Galatica (BSG) is a co-operative/competitive board game in the vein of Shadows Over Camelot. To be more specific, the players take on the roles of major members of the Galactica, the only military ship to survive a cylon sneak attack on Caprica, the human homeworld. The goal of the players is, ostensibly, to survive through challenge after challenge, and reach the new world of Kobol. This is complicated by the fact that one or more of the players might potentially be Cylon (robot) agents, planted aboard the Galatica to sabotage and destroy her. At the start of the game, everyone is dealt a secret loyalty card, which determines if they are a human or a cylon. At the halfway point, an additional loyalty card is dealt to each player, allowing for sudden changes of loyalty (though only in one direction, once you're a cylon, you stay a cylon, while human players can suddenly find themselves playing for the other team)
In order to win, the human players have to travel through 8 distance of jumps, and then make 1 more jump. Each jump covers a distance between 1 and 3 units, determined by the destination, which is secretly selected by the admiral. In order to jump, the fleet has to become ready, which takes time. Specifically, at the end of each player's turn**, the players face a crisis (the nature of these crises will be discussed below). Some crises also advance the "jump track," which represents fleet readiness. The players can choose to jump early, but that will run the risk of losing some of the civilian population.
Crises are, in general, resource sucks. They either just flat out consume resources (skill cards, or major resources), or require a "skill check," which involves players secretly putting in some number of skill cards***. Skill cards which match the skills required by a check are good. Skill cards which don't match are bad. In general, a failed skill check is worse than not attempting, but a successful skill check can do all sorts of nice things****.
On the other hand, the cylon players win if:
1) The humans run out of any of the resources: Food, Fuel, Population, or Morale
2) The humans are boarded by a cylon raiding party which reaches the bridge
3) The Galatica is destroyed by cylon attacks.
Furthermore, the identities of the cylons are not known at the start of the game. This means that they contribute to skill checks and make decisions normally, allowing for a great deal of mayhem to be wrought, especially if the cylons are in positions of power (the president or the admiral). Once the cylons reveal, their abilities to cause harm are sharply reduced, but, they're still more effective than if they were stuck in the brig (people in the brig are basically non-contributing, for good or for ill). This means that it's in the best interests of the Cylons to cause problems, without tipping their hand overmuch, as getting brigged or revealed makes them much less effective.
In short, it's a hidden traitor game, which allows for all sorts of fun interplayer interactions and accusations of cylon-hood. With the prereqs out of the way, it's time to talk about our players:
V: V is one of the regular set of boardgamers, and a huge fan of the BSG board game. You would think that this would mean that he is
1) good at strategy, from the regular boardgaming and
2) good at keeping a hidden agenda, from the BSG boardgaming
neither of these is the case. He is good, however, at getting brigged, and then complaining. This is because V. seems incapable of NOT acting like a cylon. He loves to roll the dice for the attacking cylon ships, and cheer when they destroy our civilian ships. He also likes to be admiral, and then make very poor jump decisions^.
V took the role of Saul, the alcoholic Vice-Admiral, who, for this game, began as the Admiral.
HanBing (HB, or Ice): HB is another regular, and is a generally solid player. She is, however, super quiet, and likes to keep her metaphorical cards close to her chest. This means it's hard to tell what, exactly, she's up to. She also has a tendency to horde resources for a rainy day.
HB took the role of Laura Roslin, la Presidente
Ryan: Ryan rounds out the regular quartet^*. He's an excellent boardgamer, which a sharp strategic mind and good bluffing skills. His mission in life, however, is to be as irreverent as possible. This means anything involving Ryan involves a lot of edgy humor. This makes games a lot more interesting to play, as well as making it difficult to figure out what exactly he's up to.
Ryan took on the role of Boomer, the Raptor Pilot.
Me: You know me, more or less. I'm bad at bluffing, but reasonably good at strategy. I also am physically unable to not give advice to other people on their turn. This makes me the world's shittiest cylon.
I took on the role of Chief Tyrol, the lead engineer and all-around useless sack of shit. This is because I hate taking a leading role and prefer to sprinkle magic helpful fairy-dust for others, rather than taking care of my own shit^**.
THE ACTUAL G_DDAMNED GAME^***
After the loyalty cards were dealt, the standard questioning began, giving nothing helpful, as none of the cylons had a sudden fit of conscience and offered to turn themselves in. With this minor disappointment out of the way, the game was afoot!
Sadly, (or happily, depending on the side you're rooting for), the first two jumps went almost without a hitch. This was, in my opinion, largely due to the fact that Ryan and HB were sitting one after the other, such that Ryan could set up the crisis for HB, and she could pick 1 of 2, allowing for a lot of the really awful stuff to be skipped. The only real problems were a couple of cylon attacks which Ryan cleaned up relatively quickly. All in all, things were looking largely positive for the crew of the Galactica. Then came the dark time.
Admiral V. had us jumping into a cylon ambush^**** to make it past the halfway point. This prompts as flurry of accusations as the second round of loyal cards were dealt, and almost immediately, things began to go wrong- almost as if there was a traitor (or two) in our midst. The sudden turn towards disaster halts, when a rare opportunity presents itself: a crisis, which, if passed, gives 1 more distance towards the shining lights of Kobol. It was a very close thing, but, after an investigative committee and my invocation my 1/game power, we barely passed.
The joy was short lived, as wave after wave of cylons began to descend upon the ship. After extensive argument, Admiral V. was persuaded to use one of the remaining nukes to shut down one of the attacking basestars, but with level of argument required gave credence to Ryan's campaign of accusations against V. To ensure peace, I suggest a compromise: HB will play a card that gives the admiral's ability to chose destination to one of the other players (Ryan or me), instead of just brigging V. and taking the admiralty away from him outright.
HB, however, is unsure which of Ryan or I to trust, and, so, decides to delay the hand-off until the next action. During this time, V. asks some questions about how his 1/game (give the presidency to the admiral) works, to which I respond by "it sends you immediately to the brig." V. proceeds to use it, uttering half of the titular quote^^. With that, the admiralty (but not the presidency, sadly) is handed off to Ryan, who jumps us 2 more distance, for a total of 8, meaning that the next jump wins the game for the humans.
Sadly, Dame Fortune decided that constant success was not in the cards (literally) for the humans, giving a cylon attack crisis, followed by Ryan revealing himself by sending me to sickbay. With the cylons now free to ravage the civilian ships, V. decides to tip his hand by spiking a crisis, and using his presidential authority to free himself from jail, presumably to cause as much havoc as possible before we strip him of his title and send him back to the brig. With supplies running low, one cylon in control of the presidency and free, and the other cylon leading the robot fleet, HB decides to use her 1/game to draw a bunch of quorum cards (giving her access to some of the presidential powers, even though she wasn't the president). Thankfully, one of the drawn cards is an arrest order, sending V. back to the brig.
All this might be in vain, however, as the cylons annihilate the last of the civilians ships, and begin to turn their attention to the Galatica. Ryan decides to add insult to injury, arranging for another crisis to befall the remaining humans. Sadly, his hubris betrays him, as both of his options for crisis have a jump marker- the last one needed for preparations to finish- and HB jumps the fleet to victory.
Human Victory
Postgame
Not too much commentary here, other than that Ryan's two options for the last jump were both 2 distance, which was a huge setback for the forces of no-good. One of the things that did come up, which is sad, but true, is that in most cases, the outcome of a game of BSG is knowable fairly far in advance, as if the humans have enough resources, they can afford to fail the vast majority of crises, and it's hard for the Cylons to target a specific weakness in the human players, which would allow them to assault a strongly fortified human side. This topic, the problem of snowballing in games, has actually been bothering me for a little while. I think I'll try to get a post up soonish to talk about it.
*or, alternately, the last thing standing in the way of a safe, sane, clean, robot future.
**with certain limited exceptions
*** in addition to two random cards, adding a large element of chance
****In some cases
^The Dilithium Planet is only a good choice if you're desperately low on fuel
^* With myself, of course
^** Also, he's chubs, so I get to be all self-loathing and size-ist
^*** Holy Shit, do I ever shut up about useless crap?
^**** This is not quite as damning as it first appears, as the Cylon Ambush is worth a lot of distance. On the other hand, it's not the best of destinations, either
^^ The other half being provided by the other at the table
I'm so glad to see that you're taking time away from being bothered by male lactation, dried fruit consumption, poor marching standards of Civil War reenactors, food nostalgia, and the Harolds to get grumpy about snowballing :)
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